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I am NOT Afraid to Say: I LOVE JUDGE JUDY!

June 7, 2014

In the olden days – before the prevalence of salacious celebrity gossip readily available on the internet – I would occasionally purchase a National Enquirer. I would place it cover-side-down on the grocery conveyer and strategically put items on top of it to hide it from my husband.

God I love this crap.

God I love this crap.

Inevitably, the grocery store clerk would ring it up, but then glance at it making comments to me about what was on the cover. These comments would alert my husband to an opportunity to make fun of me (which, by law, he must do…) and my purchase. My carefully planned covert purchase would be blown, and I would have to endure his mocking.

This is the same feeling I get when I tell people that I love Judge Judy and some of the other reality court TV shows. I absolutely LOVE those shows!! They are filled with losers who bring unbelievably stupid lawsuits – and then the judges get to call them idiots for bringing the lawsuits. Then there are the lawsuits against jerks who are trying to scam other people – and the judges get to call them idiots. There are lawsuits where roommates don’t pay their rent, dogs bite other dogs, people hit cars and don’t want to pay for the damages, borrowed money that never gets paid back, and bail that people insist other people gave them “just because”.

Some of my favorite people (to despise) are the ones who defend their juvenile delinquents. They enable their spawn to wreak havoc in their neighborhoods by not properly supervising them – and after the little creeps get caught – the parents deny that their kids ever do anything wrong. Judge Judy calls the parents out on their ignorant child-rearing and makes them look like morons – and the crappy parents – they really are. It makes me smile. She says all the things I would like to say to those people if I could. There is something strangely cathartic about watching her dress-down stupid people. Dressing down stupid people would actually be my dream job. If it paid well. judge

So when I start to get frustrated by idiot drivers, parents who yell at their small children, people who have handicap permits because they are obese, and republicans – I think: What would Judge Judy say?

And then I smile to myself and return to awfulplasticsurgery.com.

:b

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2 Comments
  1. Becky Harding permalink

    I love Judge Judy too. And also Judge Joe Brown…and that Latina lady judge with the pretty eyebrows…

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