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My Virgin Blog

August 14, 2012

This is exciting on so many levels.  First, I do not think I have even had a virgin before this moment.  Well yes, I have been a virgin myself – maybe even twice.  The first being when I was an actual virgin, and the second was when it had been so long that I had had sex that I told my friends that I had “re-virginized”.  So, this is new and exciting on so many levels – although I have to say that being a virgin or a “re-virgin” was not exciting, or particularly new – it was just the way things were.  I have never had sex with anyone who was not a virgin, so that is why this experience may be more exciting.  I am un-virginizing my blog which I think may be a new and exciting experience.  I am “popping the cherry” of my blog.  I am “de-flowering” my blog.  I am no longer carrying my blogger v-card.   (I looked up the definition of “popping her cherry” on the web and the best answer was:  It’s a retarded old pervert’s way of saying that he is a pig.  I love that.  It’s kinda like when you ask a guy where he wants to go out to dinner and he suggests Hooters’ because they have such great food.  That Guy = retarded pig.)

Anyhoo, back to my virgin blog.  How long can I call this blog a virgin?  It seems like I have been writing enough that this blog is no longer a virgin.  Because if we think back to the act of sex, it would seem that even if there is still intercourse going on, the second the hymen is broken, the woman is no longer a virgin.  So, per that logic (I love it when I use the word logic.  It is SO un-me.) my blog was no longer a virgin after the first word.  But maybe the hymen of my blog was a really tough leathery hymen and it took many many words to break.  Maybe even whole sentences??  Or maybe the people reading this blog have veeerrrrrrry small penis-brains – or no penises at all – and therefore my blog is still pure and untouched by any probing brains at all?  This is no longer making any sense to me and is actually kind of getting creepy and all weird and stuff – because I am so not about sex, so I don’t even know HOW I got myself to this place in my first blog.  Although to clarify, I do like sex. Sort of.  (You see, I’m married.)

So instead of calling this My Virgin Blog, I have now decided to call this My First Blog.  But how many My First Blogs have there been?  So many blogs that I don’t even want to think about it.  In fact there have probably been so many My First Blogs that My First Blog is probably the sluttiest blog out there.  TONS of people have titled their first blog My First Blog, so My First Blog is so trashy and skanky and used that practically everyone has slept with that blog – well because, let’s face it – she will sleep with anyone!!  I don’t want to have my first blog called a skanky slut, so I think I will stay with My Virgin Blog.

Well, I think that was great beginning.  Or would it be an ending – because it was a virgin, and now that part has ended?  Discuss.

:b

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3 Comments
  1. misosilly permalink

    HA!! So when are you going to get all judgmental on us?? Funny stuff.

  2. Karen permalink

    Your “maiden voyage” was interesting. I look forward to your next “entry”, or using your analogy is that my job?! Hmmmm.

  3. Nice virgin blog. You made me laugh. Good luck. Feel free to check out mine too!

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